Fangzhu (Carissa Meng) is a New Zealand Chinese poet, artist and "Fangzhu's
time" program host in New Zealand Chinese Voice Radio. She has published
four books of poetry, including The Mellowness of Time (poems and
paitings), Open Lovesickness, and Rose Cold Drink. She has attended a
number of international poetry conferences. Since 2013, she has been
writing for "Fangzhu's Poem and Arts", a column in the New Zealand
Liu Jun has translated more than 20 works by Lao She, Feng Zikai, Zhang
Tianyi and other authors in the past 20 years. She recently
co-translated Uyghur author Alat Asem's Confessions of a Jade Lord with
Bruce Humes. She now lives in New Zealand.
Should I Open the Door
thinking: Should I open the door?
I cannot decide.
The door faces north, facing the sea.
An important decision, because
many things will rush in when the door opens.
Wind, for one, will come gusting, armed with
the salt and the temptation of the sea --
ruffling my hair, and of course my dress,
and my just-becalmed heart.
In its wake, along comes the afternoon heat,
and the tail-end of autumn,
surging, assaulting me, until
it dawns on me: When I look autumn
in the eye, the days left to me stare back.
Uneasy? Sure. Anxious? Of course.
But also tempted? Maybe. Through the glass door, the lights and shadows
of the sea frolic on the ceiling --
like a lonely person trapped in thought,
unable to decipher the shimmering words.
I'm still torn: Should I open this door?
Across the waves dart arrows of wind.
I cast my eyes over them and
shudder at the danger that lurks.